1963 - 1964
Death, Love & Marriage
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| 1964 - 252, Thornton RoadJohn TURNER & Maria KENNEDY |
These two years proved to be two of the most important of my life. Mum fell ill in 1963 and spent some time in BRI shortly before her 25th Wedding Anniversary. During the week commencing 24th June 1963, I was suffering from Tonsillitis and had been confined to bed in the Medical Centre at RAF Waddington. On Friday 28th June, it was decided that I was fit enough to be let out; I queried with the doctor whether or not I should visit Mum because I didn’t wish to take any germs in to the hospital that might make her condition worse. He advised against it and, after a discussion with Pop, I decided not to visit on this weekend. Not my greatest decision as it turned out.
On Friday and Saturday nights, the Sacred Heart Church in Thornton held Bingo sessions at which I used to help by checking cards and dishing out prizes. Whilst there this particular weekend, Mrs. KENNEDY came up to me and told me that her daughter, Maria, wanted to ask me something. At this stage, although I knew the KENNEDY family, especially the boys, I hadn’t had any connection with Maria because she was so much younger than me. Maria told me that she had to get to Nelson in Lancashire on the Sunday for a Bridesmaid’s Dress fitting for her cousin Pamela’s wedding. I was the only person that the family knew who owned a car and, would be available to take her there. Sunday duly arrived and, after church, I picked up a very smart Maria. We set off for Nelson in my Mum’s Ford Popular, OVR 353 and, after we had been driving for a while, Maria announced that she had explained to her Uncle & Aunt that I was her new boyfriend, which came as rather a shock to me, however we decided that we had been ‘going out’ for a couple of weeks so that we didn’t make fools of ourselves. Apparently I was quite acceptable and I seem to remember having a very pleasant afternoon before driving Maria home and subsequently driving back to Waddington in the evening.
On the following Tuesday Mum died. To say that I was shocked was an understatement, but when I look back, how could I, at the age of 22, not know that she was that seriously ill? Pop had not told me and Mum certainly hadn’t but I should have known. I was told of her death by one of the Padres at Waddington and was sent off on two weeks compassionate leave. The time between her death and burial went by in a blur and I remember very little of what went on. Auntie Betty spent a good deal of her time in Bradford coping with house and meals etc. whilst Pop organised the funeral and all those other things that needed to be done at that time. Mum’s funeral service was at the Sacred Heart Church in Thornton and Maria kindly played the organ, after which Mum was laid to rest in Thornton Cemetery.
Pop decided that we should get away from Bradford for a while, so we went to visit an Aunt of his who lived in Winchelsea, Sussex. I don’t remember much about this time away and, in hindsight, I wonder how much effect losing his Mum had on my brother Michael who was 14. We were not especially close as brothers, with eight years age difference, and I was probably guilty of not helping him enough.
In due course we came home and I went back to Waddington in a bit of a daze. I used to come home at weekends but found that I needed to get out of Oakroyd for some of the time. It was due to this desire to be out which led me to become much more friendly with Maria. She provided a haven and someone different to talk to and we spent an increasing amount of time together out and about around Yorkshire at places like Ilkley Moor, where we first held hands, and Bolton Abbey. One day I took her out into the Yorkshire Dales between Bolton Abbey and Settle, which turned into a very interesting trip for her because the road I chose had lots of gates, which she had to open and close as we travelled on. I believe that we ended up in Settle and stopped at a restaurant for something to eat; this became another test for Maria because she had never been to a restaurant before and she had no idea what to order. I seem to remember that we ended up with Plaice, which wasn’t a great idea because it was served on the bone. I now know that fish and bones do not go together in Maria’s mind!
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John TURNER, Veronica & Meryl WALDEN, John BAKER
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From the previous chapter, the reader may remember that in 1962 I had been on holiday with John BAKER to the Devon Coast Country Club in Paignton, Devon where we had met twin sisters, Meryl and Veronica WALDEN. John and Meryl subsequently became boyfriend/girlfriend and the four of us had booked another holiday for 1963. The reader can well imagine that Maria was not particularly pleased by this arrangement but I felt that I could not let John down so I went.
Once I had got myself back in favour, Maria and I continued to spend a lot of time together whenever I was at home; we certainly got on very well together in a very platonic way. I used to do mad things in those days and, because I had not been able to get home for three weeks, I decided to pay a flying visit to Bradford one Friday evening, even though I had to be at work on the Saturday morning. No mobile phones in those days so when I knocked on Maria’s door, she was rather taken aback, but, I hope, pleasantly surprised. We went up to see Pop at Oakroyd, who also didn’t know I was coming. When we walked into the living room I don’t know who was more surprised, us at seeing him with a lady by his side or him, because he had never mentioned having a lady friend. This was our first meeting with Doreen FARRELL who was to become my Step Mum. Anyway, later that evening Maria and I celebrated with our first kiss and I went back to Waddington singing ‘Maria’ from West Side Story.
Whilst I was away at Waddington, Maria, who was working at Bradford Equitable Building Society, used to catch the bus into Bradford in the morning, but, at more or less the same time, Pop would be on his way to work and he often stopped and picked her up at the Bus Stop, much to her embarrassment; she wasn’t used to having access to a car and all the other people at the Bus Stop would stare at this rather posh (in those days) bright yellow Ford Consul. Apparently Pop would quiz her as to what I was up to because I used to write to her but not to him!
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| Ford Popular - WKY 683 |
During the latter part of 1963, I bought my second car, which was a blue new model Ford Popular, WKY 683 and so I became self mobile once again. There were a fair number of steamy windows in that car! The photograph shown was taken whilst we were on honeymoon.
November saw Maria’s 17th birthday and I bought her a Scottie Dog marcasite brooch, which she still has today. I don’t remember celebrating much; I never had enough money to do anything extravagant. I seem to think that we spent a long time on the sofa in Maria’s house!!
One time when we were out, we stopped at a pub and had a drink or two. I bought Maria a Babycham and then when I went for a second, she said that she would like an orange juice; I then persuaded her that she mustn’t mix drinks so she had another Babycham after which she rather wobbled down the pub corridor bouncing off the walls. I was very naughty and she was very naïve. At Christmas time, we went around some of my friends’ houses, where, of course, we were persuaded that we had to have a drink. Maria plumped for Sherry, which resulted in her being rather tipsy by the time I got her home. Her mother was not at all impressed and managed to get her out of the way before her father saw her. Perhaps I wasn’t the perfect son-in-law material after all! After that last comment, I should say that I already wanted to marry this girl, but, when I talked about it to her, she said to ask her when she was 23.
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Pop & Doreen’s Wedding Day
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Despite the odd argument we got on very well and when Pop decided to marry Doreen in March of 1964, we were asked to be Bridesmaid and Best Man. I imagine that many people thought that Pop was marrying much too soon after the death of my Mum and, in fairness, nine months does not seem like enough time to grieve, however, it didn’t worry me as Pop needed someone and Doreen, as it turned out, was perfect for him and they were very happily married for 37 years. Once again, I perhaps did not spend much time with my brother who must have found it very difficult to adapt to a stepmother at the age of 15. Of course, when anyone is as much in love as I was, everybody else gets ignored; no excuse, just a fact.
By this time, I had started to play hockey for Lincoln Imps and we used to play evening matches in the summer. At one match, played at Alford, I hurt my left hand and, after a couple of days of it being swollen, I reported sick and saw the doctor who thought that it was just bruised but sent me to Nocton Hall Hospital for confirmatory X-Ray. I drove myself and didn’t take any extra clothing with me; this turned out to be a mistake because I had broken the metacarpal associated with the little finger of my left hand. As a result, I had to stay in hospital. Having the bone set took two non-invasive operations and I had to contact a friend at Waddington to come over and bring me some washing gear and extra clothes. After a three day stay, I was discharged with three fingers of my left hand in plaster. Of course, I had my car there, but I soon learned that I could change gear with the forefinger and a thumb, and, as it was a weekend, I drove up to Bradford to see Maria.
I’m afraid that being ‘romantic’ is not one of my better qualities but I did try and one day it involved Cilla Black. These were the days of Coffee Bars where youngsters would gather to drink frothy coffee and play the obligatory Juke Box. Maria and I were in one such cafe in Bradford when I decided to demonstrate just how I felt about her. I went to the Juke Box and put on ‘You’re My World’ by Cilla. This fell a little flat because she didn’t know the song and had to ask me what it was called! Ah well, I tried. As a result she went out at the first opportunity and bought the record.
In the summer of 1964 we were invited to a party in Lincoln with some RAF friends of mine. This, of course, would mean an overnight stay and I had to promise her Dad that we would behave. I took this promise very seriously and as a result, when the party ended, I travelled back to sleep in my own bed at Waddington and Maria slept on a camp bed at the home of Chris and Brian FOSTER, who were recently married. Everyone was rather surprised when I left Maria but I know that I was right to honour my promise. We still exchange Christmas cards with Chris and Brian even though they are divorced and remarried. Another couple at the party were Pete LIMBURN and his girlfriend/fiancée Christine SEAGER. During the last few years, we have met up with them again at the 89th Entry reunions. Sadly Christine died from breast cancer in August 2014, within 6 months of her Golden Wedding Anniversary.
In September 1964, I was informed that I was to be posted for two years to RAF Khormaksar in Aden, leaving early in December of that year. I had been on the Volunteer Overseas Register for so long that I had forgotten about it and now it had surfaced to upset my life. Bearing in mind that Maria was not yet 18, two years out of our lives did not seem too long; on the other hand we didn’t want to spend two years apart. I asked her whether or not we should be engaged, and this idea was put to her parents. Her father was dead against it, because he thought that being engaged for two years was too much and that temptations were likely to crop up. Maria dissolved into tears and got so upset that her father gave in and said that she could do whatever she liked. Now another thought occurred to us, if we were allowed to be engaged, perhaps we could get married. The advantage of being married was that instead of two years, I would only have to be away for one year. When this idea was put to Maria’s Dad, he had no objections at all because marriage is for life. Presumably he thought that temptations didn’t happen to married couples.
In October, I took Maria to see the Blackpool Illuminations. We also managed to get to the top of Blackpool Tower and danced in the Tower Ballroom. The interesting thing about the dancing was that Maria was wearing backless shoes so we spent the whole time, rather unusually, with me dancing backwards. A splendid day out ended with Maria sleeping in my bed! Now I wasn’t there as I had been banished, probably to the attic, so absolutely nothing untoward went on.
With everyone’s permission we decided that the 14th November would be an ideal day to get married because it was on a Saturday, making it much easier for people who were working to attend. Coincidentally, this was the date of Maria’s 18th birthday. We therefore had about six weeks to organise the wedding and between us we probably had the grand total of £18. I know that traditionally the bride’s parents paid for the wedding but that was never an option so we decided that anyone that wanted to buy us a present could use it to contribute to the wedding itself. Maria bought her own wedding dress, someone bought the cake, the reception was held at Oakroyd, so paid for by Pop, who also paid for the Wedding Car (£5). The bridesmaids, Wendy BINNS, Jennifer SAMPSON and Jessica BRYSON, paid for their own dresses.
The evening before we were married we went out together, thus avoiding tradition. We went to the Lawnswood Arms at Adel in Leeds where Adel Hockey Club were having some sort of ‘get together’, which I don’t think was in my honour. Maria remembers wearing a silver Mandarin style dress. We left some time after midnight and got home at 01.00 to find Maria’s Mum absolutely frantic.
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| 14th November 1964 Our Wedding Day |
We were to be married at 10.00 at the Sacred Heart Church by Father William MOVERLEY and Maria tells me that at 09.30, she was still wandering around chatting instead of getting ready. Once again her Mum was getting frantic. She did finally get ready and then her Dad asked her whether or not she wanted to change her mind! She didn’t and turned up on time. Meanwhile I was getting ready and my Best Man, Paul SHACKLETON turned up at my house at about 09.30 asking whether or not he had time to get a haircut! The service was a full Nuptial Mass, which was a definite shock to the few of my RAF friends who were present because none of them were Catholic and it is a very long service; what is more, in those days, it was nearly all in Latin. Nevertheless, the service went by without a hitch and we duly became Man and Wife. Fortunately, the weather, although cold and windy, remained dry so the photographs weren’t a problem and then we all went back to Oakroyd for our little reception. For anyone of my readers who knows Oakroyd, not only did I carry Maria over the threshold but all the way down the steps from Enderley Road as well. It is a good job that she only weighed 6 stones in those days.
At some stage in the afternoon, we left to go on our honeymoon in our Ford Popular. We only got about a mile down the road when this horrible smell reached us so we stopped and removed the traditional kipper from the exhaust! We had no plans as to where exactly we were going except we thought that the Lake District would be nice so we set off blissfully happy without a care in the world. It was dark by the time that we reached Kendall and by this time we were both hungry so we stopped and ate Fish and Chips, in newspaper of course, and celebrated with Babycham. We eventually reached Windermere and found the Elleray Hotel where we booked in for two nights. We were asked whether or not we wanted an evening meal and somehow, despite the earlier Fish & Chips, we agreed to have one. We must also have said that we were on honeymoon which maybe wasn’t the best idea. The restaurant had a dance area and there was live music playing and we were embarrassed by having to have our ‘first dance’ in front of people that we did not know; we also had to suffer the comments about why we were not in bed etc. In those days en-suite rooms were not common, certainly not on our budget, so, when I had to go to the toilet in the night I realised that I didn’t have a dressing gown. The sight of me scurrying down the corridor wearing Maria’s dressing gown would have given any other guest that saw me a good laugh; fortunately I saw no-one.
The following morning being Sunday, we found the local Catholic Church and went to Mass before going out and about around various parts of the Lake District. Fortunately for us the weather was good for November so we weren’t wrapped up in raincoats and we really enjoyed being together. After a two night stay we moved on to Carlisle, although I do not remember why we did that. I cannot be sure but I think that we stayed in what is now the County Hotel, although I may be wrong. It was a huge hotel and we felt out of place. Whilst staying there we visited Gretna Green for a drink and then after a one night stay, started on our way south towards Lincoln. The reason for the very short honeymoon was that I was due to play in the RAF Command Hockey Championships, starting on the following Thursday at RAF Cranwell, a fact that didn’t exactly endear me to my brand new wife. We spent the Tuesday night at a Guest House in Wetherby where the bed, doors and floors all creaked. We had tried to book into a Hotel/Pub but the only room available had twin beds and Maria didn’t like that idea! We reached Lincoln, where we stayed with Joe and Rosemary AHMAD for the period of the hockey championships and then it was back to work for me whilst Maria went back home.
Given that we were engaged and married within six weeks I imagine that many people in Thornton waited for Maria’s waistline to expand? That was never ever going to happen as the white dress that she wore to get married in was entirely appropriate and, in fact, I could have worn a white suit!!!
On December 5th, I left for Aden and our married life was put on hold for a year.
Before I carry on with our story, this seems an opportune place to add a chapter about my Mum.
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